The Holiday Army

Here it comes again - the Holiday Army - in its annual march against us. Some of its generals are called "Thanksgiving," "Christmas," "Hanukkah," "New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. You are not respecter of heartbroken and emotionally wounded, and their troops are merciless. Take no prisoners! They demand that we participate in their joy and nostalgia or they will mow us with their militant tanks, festive mood.

Sometimes they tell their open war on us -without shame or remorse. Sometimes they wait for us in the ambush. Their intelligence operators have been working diligently all year, waiting for the Thanksgiving Day (or sometimes Halloween!) Trumpet to begin their attack. You just can not seem satisfied, their festivals and celebrations and dinner parties, if we can recruit them all in their ranks.

Actually, we do well. All we really want is for them to leave us alone and let us grieve in peaceand quiet. We prefer our "Silent Night" their "Deck the Halls" and "Jingle Bells". We do not intentionally spoil their fun, it's just that our pain is unpleasant to them. They have been conditioned to believe that "The Holiday Season" should be no stigma of disease or lack of frivolity to have. We must not only link our wounds, while next in their presence, but to cover them with taffeta and sequins. They are convinced that all we need to "put on a happy face" and all our concerns areto evaporate magical.

Crazy In their quest for happiness, they shoot us with bullets of shopping, music channel, special holiday foods and fragrances, gift wrap, decorations (especially the angels!), Happy children with happy smiles, cards, invitations, parties and gifts exchanges. Any other time of year, snow is considered a nuisance to shovel and plow through. During the holidays, but it is touted as a romantic and, with sleds and starry nights areFireplaces snuggled close to those we love.

The most devastating bombs they drop into our lives are the images of reunion - times the welcome hugs and people who loved much and sometimes not often seen for a while. They may only be separated by geography, our absent loved ones can not gorge on the loss, in our tears in his eyes looms. They remind us of things we should be thankful for (and we are grateful for many more of these things than they can imagine). Youprod us with their spears to realize the attractive interaction, ever, that what they celebrate is what we can not now enjoy. We would not attack them in these battles for survival dream vacation. With our noses against the glass that separates us down, we are actually long in a position to be a part of their happiness. We remember the times that we have fun together and we were part of their army of nostalgia and joy.

Our broken hearts and bleeding wounds not excuse us fromgracious, but. While grief does not give us permission to be rude and selfish, and we are not open aggression against her, we are not defenseless in this fight. We can kindly with the armor of dignity, but direct and simple explanations sign: "We understand your desire to celebrate, but this year we prefer quiet and private reflection and meditation." "Right now, it is estimated for us in large groups function and to laugh hard and good humor." "OurEnergy is so limited;. We would appreciate some quiet one-on-one time with you in a spiritual atmosphere, "We can gently remind them how important it is for us, we love that are gone remember these statements. that are to clarify our position, without judging or criticizing them for her. kind and non-threatening way, we have to tell them what's good for us because they do not think on their own, and they can take advantage of the education.

We can also exercise the muscles of ourSense of humor. It will take some effort on our part, but doing something that makes sense and is good for us. We can teach us not to think in the case that our grief makes us fall the center of the universe. We can limit our demands that others treat us, "Special" and "respectful" way through our pain. We cut a little slack and remember that once a time when we were like they are now. It is good and healthy for us, our prospects and check again andTo decide whether we as a fair and reasonable.

We can our love in a simple and comfortable way to express without all the hectic, expensive and often hysterical hype that the holidays can generate. And we must exercise the expression of our love. Grief does not rob us of our ability to love, it always reminds us of our dramatic need to both give and receive love, while we are here.

Whenever we can have some control in our situations, we empower ourselves, and we feel less likeVictims in what seems like a war "peace on earth, good will toward men." Any time we can educate and inform with grace and mercy, we have a truly spiritual holiday gift of love, where you been for a lifetime.

May your season with real blessings of peace to be filled.

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